Lost In Beauty-

Friday

SiCk.. nOT pHySiCaLLy bUt mEnTaLLy.. dUnNo wHt i'M siCk oF tHo.. mAyBe tHiNgS r jUz nOt gg tHe wAy i wAnNa bE tHeSe dAyS.. siCk oF mYseLf? i rEaLLi wAnNa hAv a gOoD cRy oUtTa iT.. i duNnO wHt i rEaLLi wAn.. dUnNo wHt i'M aCtUaLLy LoOkiNg fOr? mY pErCePtiOn oF mY LiFe sEeMs tO bE gg tHe oThEr wAy iNsTeAd oF pRoCeEdiN fORWaRd.. i dUn wAn mYseLf tO bE LiDaT, i duN wAnnA bE sO peSsi aBt tHiNgS aLtHo mY suRRouNdiN sEeMs tO bE pUsHiNg mi iN tiS diReCtiOn.. i'M jUz fEeLiNg tErRibLe.. oR mAyBe iT's jUz mY hOrMoNaL cHaNgE? i dUnNo.. i'Ve gOt nO cHoiCe OvEr tiS dOmiNaTiNg fEeLiNg..

tHe sMeLL oF CaRoL's pUb'S sMoKe, tHe sMeLL oF cHaLeT, tHe sMeLL oF pErFuMe "RoMaNcE" n tHe sTrOnG fRaGrAnCe iN hiS cAr sTiLL LiNgErS aRd.. i'M sUcH a LoSeR.. i shLd hAv nOe tHeRe'S nO eNdiNg tO tiS n yEt i'M LiKe pUsHiNg mYseLf tOwArDs iT.. wHtEvA.. jUz siCk oF mySeLf? iT's rEaLLi sTrAnGe hOw i gOt mYseLf eNdEd uP iN CaRoL's pUb yEsT niTe.. bUt aT LeAsT i fEeL bEtA tHeRe wHeN sHe tOk tO mi aLtHo sHe didn nOe tHe uPdAtEs iN mY LiFe aLtHo sHe did aSk iF i'M gEtTiNg oVeR mY pAsT ReLaTiOn.. mY niCe sUpErViSoR aLwAz.. aLtHo sHe'S nOt mY sUpEriOr nOw, sHe sTiLL gAinS mY rEsPeCt.. hEr bArTeNdEr iS cUtE tHo.. iF i nV hEaR wRoNgLy(cOs tHe puB's rEaL LoUd), hiS nAmE iS KiKi?? hAa.. n hE aLwAyS mAdE hiS sPeCiaLiTy fOr mi n CaRoL aLwAz nV cHaRgE mi.. aBiT pAiSeH.. hE gAvE mi 2 cRyStaL baLLs, tHoSe fRoM wiNe bOttLeS? dUnNo y oSo bUt hE jUz cHeEr mi uP aLtHo i duN rEaLLi nOe hiM.. nV fiNiSh tt dRiNk tHo.. cOs hE cAmE tO piCk mi uP Le.. gUeSs hE's jUz fEeLiNg wHt i'M fEeLiNg?? LiKe LoSe faiTh n hOpE oR wHtSoEvA? bUt hE cAn gEt oN wiF LiFe LidAt, mAyBe i jUs cAnt..

jUz fiNiSh wAtChiNg "MeAn GirLs".. nOt bAd, tHoSe gErS r rEaLLi mEaN.. hMm.. sLeP fRoM 7pM tiLL 10 pLuS bAh? dEn nOw iT's LiKe a pLuS, a fRi n i cAnT gEt tO sLeP.. n i gUeSs i gOt a miLd fLu? mAyBe iT's tHe rAiN tOdAe, nV uSe uMbRe tOdaE n sLepT iN a vEri coLd rOoM tHe pReViOuS niGhT.. gg NTU Le i gUeSs.. gOtTa sEttLe dOwN n wAit fOr sCh tO sTaRt Le.. hMm.. nOw i gUeSs i'M siCk pHySiCaLLy tOo.. mY fLu..

the beauty exposed ;